Dear Television Network
To the television network that always cancels my shows,
Hello again. It’s me, the one who gets really interested in a show and then you cancel it after one season…or even less. I see that you have yet another interesting show scheduled for the fall this year. Just in case the thousands of angry letters you have received in previous years for cancellations of fabulous shows didn’t tell you anything, let me offer you a few suggestions.
1) Promote the show. That’s right. Play the advertisement during the day a few more times.
2) Keep it in the same timeslot. Don’t go moving it around the schedule, making it difficult to find…even with a Tivo. It’s really annoying.
3) Try letting the show run for an entire season instead of cancelling it after seven episodes. Sometimes these things take a few episodes to build up momentum.
4) Listen to the fans when they send you notes about how cool the show is. Startlingly, they might be telling you the truth.
5) Remember that the population is not made up entirely of brainless yokels without a thought in their head. A lack of intelligent programming will drive your viewers away.
So, please, before the show even starts, treat it better than you have the last five or six shows.
Signed,
Tired of Getting My Hopes Up
